Quite often I will shop online and see a dress or an outfit that would be perfect for a certain occasion but when it comes sometimes it just doesn’t look the same partly because shops don’t put an outfit on a range of models so you can relate it to your body shape, so what looks good on a 5’11 slender model obviously isn’t going to look the same on a 5’3 women with a bit more meat on her. Shopping online can be a little more risky, but once you’ve got past the outfits that don’t fit, either because of size or length, you have the ones that just don’t look as flattering as they did on the website then the ones that the material is funny or your just not feeling it any more. After all of that putting on and taking off your probably left with 1 or 2 outfits that fit you properly and you actually like. Once you’ve got to this point you try those outfits on ,then the overthinking starts, maybe it’s too tight or maybe others wouldn’t approve , that bit of my arm is showing, that’s not flattering and it shows my stomach , I’ve not even eaten yet so what’s it going to look like when I’ve had a cocktail or two and a good meal. I don’t know about you but after picking out every part of me that other people don’t like or I’m not to proud of I tend to sit in a slump on my bed and think what I’m I going to do now?

I don’t know if you can relate in any way but this has definitely been me for a lot of years. I remember last summer I brought a tight fitting summer dress , I posed in the mirror in the dress to take a photo, but I walked out the house I added long shirt so that I could cover my stomach, I don’t really go out the house in anything tight unless I can have a little jacket or pull the dress up to sit right on my hips, if I’m honest the only time I have ever gone out in an outfit that’s tight and shows a little bit more than normal is when I go out clubbing, I can do this because I put a full face of makeup on and I’m adequately tipsy before I leave the house, but for me to have this confidence in normal every day life it takes a lot more.

I’m still working on it but actually about this time last year I gained a whole lot of self confidence and ended my 3 year relationship as It wasn’t adding anything positive to my life any more it was about 3 months before that, that I found an inner confidence that id never had before, I still don’t really know how or why but I’m very grateful because it gave me the confidence to believe in myself and to buy outfits that I would of never of worn, like the summer dress even thought I walked out the house still covering up it was still a big achievement for me.

I’m still making progress recently for valentine’s day me and my current boyfriend went out for some cocktails and a meal. For the special occasion I ordered a very nice dress that a year ago I would of looked at on the model and thought that’s so nice but I could never wear this, but not this time this time I ordered the dress , when I put it on I felt so confident in myself, obviously there’s still things in my head to hold me back but I’m making progress to move passed those. I wore a little jacket with it but only because the weather was cold ,I am now confident enough to walk into the restaurant and take the jacket off while we waited to be seated because I was hot and not keep it on just because I didn’t want people to look at me.

Now don’t get me wrong there are things I need to work on like toning up and losing some weight but I’ve learned that you have to love yourself in the body your in to move forward and do positive things. So my advice for anyone that’s not feeling themselves is to get that outfit that you’ve dreamed of wearing, hang it in your wardrobe until the right occasion comes and you wear it with all the confidence in the world because you deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin. Others should not be able to make you feel any less than what you are, you need to know that you are a beautiful woman from size 0 and upwards. Be healthy and look after yourself but do it your way, you are the only one that knows what works for you and your daily routine, its only you that knows what it feels like to be healthy and happy in your body, no one’s healthy is the same, no one’s definition of beauty is the same ,so please be your own definition of beauty and be confident because its only when you love yourself that you will truly be happy. Ladies you got this just believe in yourself it’s a process but stay strong because you are worth it, I promise you that.

Written by Ariel The Mermaid


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