STI’s, STD’s, HIV and Aids… Whenever these subjects are mentioned it always becomes a delicate subject because of the stigma attached and the effects it can cause.

To show you how deep this topic can be imagine this… A woman you have been seeing for a weeks comes round to your house and spends the night a few times. She then turns out and says 8am in the morning that she is going to the clinic. YOU HAVE NOT HAD SEX WITH HER ONCE ?

You can imagine that sparked all sorts of questions and accusations. In the end that potential relationship broke down because there was already no trust to build on. Although she said she was looking out for me my question was but how is that so ? What have you been doing in the 4 weeks you have been coming here to feel the need to go to the clinic ? Its obvious she was involved with someone while she was getting to know me and that just put me off. There was no turning back!

The important thing to remember is that Sexually transmitted diseases do not discriminate! They can affect any gender or racial background. So Men, you got to fix up too! When you visit a Sexual Health clinic you will find all sorts of people there, and I mean everyone. This is a issue that effects all of us.

What brought about this blog was the fact in my previous relationship I was asked to go get tested. I was like Huh but OK! I could understand why she was asking cause after a certain age it is obvious you may have had different relationships and there is a old saying “You are not sleeping with the person, you are sleeping with all the people they have slept with”.

Although I was comfortable to get tested it then made me think hard about the implications of unprotected sex and the potential dangers. I decided to get the full test as I had not done one in a while. Even though she did not say it I could feel there was a certain stereotype being played out and she thought she might had caught something and emphasized she had not cheated. After getting tested and receiving the “ALL CLEAR” I was relieved. I am not saying I am a Angel but I have always tried to be careful hence why I don’t have so many kids out there to several baby mothers and fitting every stereotype.

The issue this causes now is that the partner who brought up the sexual testing now becomes a focal point. What did she catch and where did she catch it from ? Your opposing partner now has to ask serious questions about the relationship. The funniest thing is she did catch “NOTHING” she had decided to do a Brazilian and got razor bumps or in-growing hair. That was it. It is good to be cautious but never over escalated a situation because if you hype it, then when it comes down to what it is you don’t have much of an explanation or a leg to stand on.

My advice is to tackle issues and concerns early on in a relationship. Don;t be irresponsible and then claim the other person is irresponsible. You have the responsibility to take action!

Getting the “ALL CLEAR” does not mean you are good to go! Regular testing is always advised.

I am also starting to learn why commitment is also important in a relationship. My ex entertained the idea of a open relationship of which I was having none of it. Having a open relationship can also further increase the risk of STD’s and STI’s. Though commitment you ensure what you share intimately is between the same 2 people, something like a union.

However, this is not a relationship advice blog! This is just to say be careful and get yourself tested regularly. Know who you are sleeping with and you are likely to know yourself!

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