This blog is for the mature, intelligent and responsible. It has been written to spark debate and highlight aspects in our community. Please do not take offence.
For the past couple of months I have been living a bit of a secluded life. This means work, home, work, home, despite what the gossipers and rumour mill waste their breath on I have been keeping life quite simple and basic.
However, it is difficult to work hard and not play. So I thought it is time to get social again and head out clubbing. One of my promoter friends was doing a club night so I decided to go. It was an urban music night so you could expect to hear plenty of Hip Hop, R&B and Dancehall as well as Afrobeats.
I AM SINGLE. I just thought I would put that out there! So I am free to interact with anyone who shows me some interest.
I went with a fellow work colleague, a professional in IT so he can be a bit nerdy. But we decided to just have a good time and head home afterwards. When you work and have responsibilities it is hard to go out and smashed and still go to work the next day or day after. So lets say we behave ourselves now.
This is where the night got interesting…
Scene number 1… Me and my friend are on the dance floor enjoying the tunes when a young black woman literally grabs my hand and lets go. I look to see who it was and they started walking away laughing. I ignored it as they were trying to have a private joke. But I noticed the one I suspect grabbed my hand.
Scene number 2… A Black Mixed race woman caught my attention as she could move and had a P-H-A-T and I will say no more. As a man I thought ok, she wants to dance, nothing harmless. So we begin to drop a few dance moves in front of each other and it appears we are having a good time. She then begins to look over my shoulder as she starts to dance closer to me. I found this odd. Then she started talking. I thought it was to me and then she started pointing to her friend behind me. I replied “I thought we were dancing ?”. She replied “Maybe”. Nowadays I don’t waste my time with conversation I don’t understand so I kept it moving.
Scene number 3… Another White Mixed raced women did exactly the same thing. I thought she was dancing with me before she started to dance with everyone on the dancefloor, so I just assumed she was really happy! What I didn’t understand was how her white friend started dancing around me. What made it even more funnier was that she started making her fingers as if to say her crew was too nice to dance with me. Hmmm each to their own opinion. Nevertheless, it was funny, I wanted to dance with her friend and not her. The 3rd friend, a black woman would do something a bit strange next.
Scene Number 4… I don’t discriminate when going out and choosing who to dance with and what not. So when this shapely plus-size white woman came up to dance with me I did not hold back. Well she didn’t come to dance with me but I guess when you let the chemistry flow it will find its way to attract each other. As I started to dance with her I noticed the Black woman who was part of the crew in Scene 3 was literally trying to stand in the way of me dancing with this White woman and it started to get a bit awkward. The white woman and he friend decided to leave the dance floor, I guess for a break or to run from this Black woman who was tall, had the broadest shoulders, biggest boobs and was just standing their in the middle of the dancefloor stopping us from dancing. Strange one!
Scene Number 5… Remember the black woman that grabbed my hand a few scenes before. Yeah she was at it again. She walked past and this time literally grabbed my arm or bicep. This time I clearly saw what was happening. So I thought enough of the games. I approached the Black woman and asked her “Are you aware you have grabbed me twice in the club and walked away laughing?”. She claimed it was an accident, but you could clearly see by the over exaggeration she was turning into a accident but I could clearly see she initially wanted my attention but had went the wrong way about it. Next time, a conversation would be so much easier.
Scene Number 6… Last but not least Me and my friend is dancing and I notice a Black woman looking at me and then looking away, looking at me and then looking away. Whatever this is supposed to mean I left it alone. Remember, I don’t act on anything I don’t uinderstand.
Scene Number 7… This was the climax of the night. The White woman I was initially dancing with came back to the dancefloor. And for the next 2 hours we enjoyed each others company. This included dancing, having a drink, visiting the other rooms, having conversation, getting to know each other. And no I did not go back to her Hotel. She made it very clear she was interested in me but wanted to take her time and not rush into anything tonight. As a Man either way I was cool but as she was looking for something more I could understand.
So from the 7 scenes you can see as a Black Man I did not go out with no Prejudice mind, I did not discriminate or nothing. But I either got rejected or had games played with me when it came to dealing with Black women. But as soon as me and this white woman clicked everything was smooth and we really enjoyed the time together. We are still talking now and if things go well maybe it might be a relationship thing.
But what I do know I could not understand why I got so much negativity from Black women on a night out but as soon as you hook up with a White woman there are issues. I mean I saw the same black woman who kept looking at me and looking away. When we went to get some Mcdonalds I saw her in their. So while me and her are getting some food this black woman decides to park herself directly opposite us. And what made it even more complicated she was wearing the lowest cut top or was it a bra and she had the biggest boobs, just right there parked infront of me and her. I knew the game she was playing. She wanted to show her White sister that I am a dog and I will look at any woman. This game I know very well. So I checked out her once, turned to the white woman and said, hey she got some nice breasts and carried on eating. She laughed as she knew I knew what was going on. I didn’t look back and just continued to enjoy my time with my new cquintance.
The message here is not that I prefer to date a white woman but how Black women can treat a black man to the point you leave him no option but to look or accept someone outside his culture or background. I would have loved to go clubbing and meet a black woman who can dance and has a wonderful personality. But based on experience this seems like it is very hard to experience as a black man.
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