Today’s question is:
WHEN DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE READY FOR MARRIAGE ?
Before I start, let me give you a personal account of my own experiences. I was once engaged to get married. Did not work out! Not because I was not ready but because the other half was not ready. She did not understand the true concept of marriage, and who could blame her, she has never had any good examples of a marriage to know what a good marriage looks like. But this should not mean you are not ready for marriage but one could argue if you have had no good examples of marriages then it will be difficult to know what is good and what is bad. We often learn about relationships and marriages from our parents. So if you have a parent who only chases married men then it is difficult to follow a good example. If a parent demonstrates infidelity in a marriage this also is not a good example like having children outside of marriage. We are not judging here but wrong is wrong. The point I am trying to make is – to know when you are ready for marriage you must either research, seek knowledge, advice or have a good example to base when you will be ready. If not you will be entering a marriage you are not ready for and likely to end badly.
Sometimes its better to see the tell tell signs early. Imagine sleeping with the woman you want to marry at night. A phone rings! Its a married guy who has his own wife. This is 12pm. But he is calling your partner to talk while his wife does not know about it. I should have ended it there and knew nothing was going to come about it. But I didn’t. This amongst a whole other signs showed me she was never ready for marriage and maybe an ulterior motive was at hand. Not everyone marries for the right reasons! Some just look for the opportunity for investment or plan to leave once they get what they want. This is not marriage. If you know your other half is not ready and you are! Just end the relationship early if you choose because it will only end up bad.
So the question is WHEN DO YOU KNOW YOUR READY FOR MARRIAGE ? NOT THE OTHER HALF!
Well first understand the true definition of Love is a feeling and state where you want to take care and give to your partner!
Marriage is 1 or 2 entities comprising of doing half of the deal. I was constantly emasculated and compared to other men who had taken years of support from their family and wives to establish themselves and their family. But within one week of moving into a house I was told Where is this bigger house ? Where are the cars ? Once I heard this I realised she was not ready for marriage and the personality that was coming through was very nasty, almost Jezebel like! I knew then this would never work as a marriage is a deal between 2 people. The man is not slave to the women. In a marriage its a partnership with both people keeping their end of the bargain.
Now my experiences are not minus my own faults. Unfortunately I am someone who holds a bit of a grudge. So if I feel I have been wronged without cause I tend to hold on to it as I cant understand why I am being victimised. Let’s just say a marriage will never work if you entertaining outside attention. She used to keep going on about how pretty and attractive she was. I found this confusing because I had been out with prettier girls with better personalities. I could not understand how a average looking girl could think I am so beneath that I would be desperate to be with her let alone marry her. Again this sort of personality is not ready for marriage. If your a guy who allows his woman to upset you and you hold a grudge, then you are not ready for marriage.
In today’s society the western definition of LOVE is how much selfish pleasure you can gain from the relationship. If you adopt this attitude it is likely your marriage will not work.
To truly know if you are ready for marriage it is important to ask yourself – How much are you willing to let go to be with the one you love ?
I gave up a lot. I moved to Leeds, worked for a company I did not like and worked hard to get promoted 3 times but that was not enough. So therefore you can argue the relationship was based on selfish pleasures.
But that one experience. It has taught me a lot. Now I ensure whoever I am dating is down to earth, enjoys the simple things and wants to be with me. This is because I know she is giving up a lot to be with me. Her time, her energy etc.
However, it is not all doom and gloom! Out of a deceptive relationship I have managed to establish Urban Glam Life UK as a brand to continue to support under-represented talent in the UK and worldwide. In a round about way, everything has worked out nice. Its prepared me for marriage because I now know what I don’t want!
DON’T FORCE, DON’T LET PEOPLE MANIPULATE YOU, KNOW YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU WANT.